Monday, October 1, 2012

Peer Revision

During Eng101 class today, we worked in peer groups with Vince and Kevin revising each others essay or what we had so far to work with. Both my peers agree that I have a good idea and that i also need to work on my organization. So as I begin to write my final draft I will organize my writing and make connections on how climate change will affect NYC. I will make changes in paragraph 2 and try to put my sentences in order. I will also add not only how mankind activities affect the earth but how they affect NYC. For my third paragraph I will be more specific and add names to the organizations instead of using abbreviations. Receiving comments from the both of them helped me to understand my own writing and my mistakes. Kevin and Vince both agree that my introduction is good. I will leave my intro as it is and work on my body paragraphs. The most challenging thing about this essay is the fact that it is a letter to the Mayor trying to make a statement about whether or not NYC is ready for climate change. On one hand we also have to persuade the Mayor on why we believe what we believe and where we get our data from. It is hard trying to convince someone that has so much power over you and has somewhat of a control of NYC. I want to be a persuasive writer and much more organized. My plan for finishing this essay is to add more details to my body , putting them into sequence form and hopefully give enough evidence to support my opinion.

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